At various times in my life I have participated in and tried all sorts of exercises to formulate and follow a plan for my life. From creating vision statements, to setting goals, to crafting written plans and laying out graphic plans, I've tried a host. For one reason or another they all seem to fall short.

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come. If we fix on the old, we get stuck. When we hang onto any form, we are in danger of putrefaction. Hell is life drying up. The Hoarder, the one in us that wants to keep, to hold on, must be killed. If we are hanging onto the form now, we're not going to have the form next. You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs.
-- Joseph Campbell

To be sure, individually they each have their merits and advantages. Some have worked better than others, or at least I have put some to more effective use than others. And while in general they are helpful for setting a direction or kick-starting performance, they seem to fall apart in the long-term. The control each tries to establish simply cannot be maintained in the face of the chaotic pressure exerted by the comedic farce that is my life.

Familiarity is the most powerful force exerted by humans.
-- Virginia Satir

As humans we long for, we crave the familiar. Conversely we are most afraid of that which we do not know. Why are we so able to conquer the fear of the unknown in some ways and not in others? Perhaps because of the familiarity?

When I was first learning to drive, like most people I suppose, I was nervous. I made mistakes, I had issues, but I corrected them and kept going. I was able to face each new unknown thing because I saw people around me every day successfully accomplishing this feat. My familiarity with their success gave me hope and a belief that at some point I could succeed with this too. If you can skydive, so can I. At least in theory. . .

Failure is only possible if you give yourself a time limit.
-- Richard Bandler

Considering the fantastical pull of familiarity, how can we harness that to help drive us forward? Start by asking yourself how you would behave differently if you knew it was alright to fail. If you were allowed to be wrong, to make mistakes. If trying again was normal, how would it change the way you see your progress? How would it change how you plan?

Would you, like many people I know, stay in a situation that isn't meeting your goals and objectives? If you weren't so afraid of the unknown of moving on, would you move on quicker?

Communication is not necessarily one of my strongest gifts.

For a long time I struggled with empathy. My own selfishness and attitudes made it hard for me to set aside my personal agenda and take time to listen to others. If you want to speak well, you must first learn to listen well. I can hear alright, but listening is something I have always had to work at.

Thich Nhat Hanh is a Buddhist teacher who wrote the book, Creating True Peace. In it he proposes that we are only able to listen to someone else when we are clear in our reason for doing so. To truly listen we must seek only to offer the opportunity to open their heart.

If you can keep that awareness and compassion alive in you, then you can sit and listen for one hour even if the other person expresses wrong perceptions, condemnation, and bitterness. You can continue to listen because you are protected by the nectar of compassion in your own heart.
-- Creating True Peace by Thich Nhat Hanh

It is interesting that Buddhist speaks of the aspects of listening as it relates to the effort required of you, and your ability to perform the activity of listening. What do you do if, like me, you are just sometimes deaf and dumb? For me the ability to listen is many times a factor of the situations I find myself in or the circumstances of the conversation. My petty ego, temper, and ignorance means I blunder around like a blind man, even when my intentions and my heart are in the right place.

He looked up to heaven and with a deep sigh said to him, "Ephphatha!" (which means, "Be opened!" ). At this, the man's ears were opened, his tongue was loosened and he began to speak plainly.
-- Mark 7:34-35

It is those days when nothing I do is working out and when all my attempts to speak plainly result in unintelligible mumbo-jumbo; those are the days I need my Savior to act on my behalf. I must fall upon His mercy and await His favor. Only then will my ears truly be opened.

It amazes how non-obvious the connection between these behaviors can be. If you want to be able to speak plainly, you must first open your ears. And in the case of this man, much like mine, only the Word is enough to open the ears and thereby loosen the tongue.

I love the fair. You should do it.

Anyone who reads me regularly knows that I avoid anything truly political. Today I couldn't resist.

As a caveat, please do not read anything more into this than that I found this to be a very interesting quote. The last thing I want is for everyone out there (all 6 of you) to start thinking I'm making political statements or even giving away my political perspectives in this forum. I am not.

A secure, stable, democratic Iraq at peace with its neighbors is attainable.
-- Ryan C. Crocker, U.S. Ambassador to Iraq

These are good adjectives. Unless you are an anarchist, these are good adjectives. Believe them or not, it is important to at least start with good adjectives.

Last night at the House of Blues on the Sunset Strip I got a chance to see an artist I have been waiting quite a while to watch live.

Brandi Carlile (and the twins) brought an incredible performance. It was very impressive. Most of her music has struck me as well-produced recordings, and then you see them performed and it knocks yer socks off! Their work is so powerful in-person it just overpowered me.

My friend Cam is a musician who came to the show with me. What a great shared experience! Not just excellent for catching up; but if you are going to be moved, it is more meaningful to be moved with someone you care about.

The House of Blues on the Sunset Strip is a thoroughly L.A. experience. Ludicrously overpriced beverages (We only have canned beer, for $7! Rocktail? $10!), a pretentious wait-staff, self-important patrons and a no-cameras policy. Ugh. It reminded me, like a slap upside the head, why I hate venues in L.A.

Of course, even though I had to wade through the upholstered toilet that is an mainstream L.A. venue, Brandi and the twins made me forget if for a little while. Seriously, go see this show. The unplugged bits will make you weep, shudder, and dance all that same time. What an incredible voice. What rare talents.

Building software for a crowd of generic consumers while challenging, operates by some reasonably straightforward rules that can be reasonably understood. For example, simpler is better.

On the other hand, building custom software for an educated user-base to fulfill specialized processing is excruciating because of the unreasonableness of it all.

The closer your users are to the problem, the more ideas they will have on HOW to solve the problem. This naturally leads to a slew of fragmented and disjointed concepts as they attempt to articulate in fits and starts their individual, informed, ideas about how the system should function.

At the other end of the spectrum, having educated and empowered users who will discourse with you about the nature of the problems to be solved, listening with open-minds to potential solutions, providing feedback to perfect the product, this can be hyper-productive.

We like to say, "They know enough to be dangerous."

When you have fragmented and disjoint components that don't subscribe to a cohesive approach to problem resolution you end up with lots of superfluous code that is usually much more complicated then it needs to be. Twice as much code doesn't make the solution twice as complex, more code adds exponential complexity.

This is not to say that you altering the end-goal for the functionality being delivered, you are changing HOW the software will meet the end-goal of functionality. When you subscribe to a cohesive vision, the product isn't just easier to create, it is simpler to test, quicker to validate, more robust in operation, faster to debug, and much easier for a user to adopt. The evidence supporting this is vast and varied across the technology landscape. The simpler answers always have broader adoption.

When you approaching an engagement, ask yourself what kind of user-base is supporting your efforts. Are they generic and uninformed? Keep it simple. Are they educated, pushy, and sure of their solution? Good luck with that (unless you can change the game). Are they empowered but open? Engage them early and often and you'll be really successful.

One of my friends is a talented musician. He composes and performs and I've never seen him at a loss for how to coax nice notes from any instrument he's ever picked up. He is, by almost any standard, gifted. Extraordinarily, unfairly, majestically, gifted in the art of making music.

On the other hand, the only way I can carry a tune is in a bucket. Which is not for lack of trying; it is simply that I really stink. So sticking with it when I am so horrendously un-gifted is a challenge.

It used to be that I would just say, I'm not gifted. I don't have that talent. Why waste my time practicing? I'll never be that good. Since then, I've been reading.

If you read books like Satisfaction and The Cambridge Handbook of Expertise and Expert Performance you begin to realize that the only thing standing in the way of your growth from novice to expert is dedication. If you are consistent in your deliberate pursuit of change, you will find the change you desire.

Science today tells us that almost anyone can develop expert-level abilities in almost anything (from which they aren't physically impaired). I don't think anyone is saying you can beat Lance Armstrong, that man is just genetically engineered to dominate the rest of us. At least on a bike.

But for most abilities, like being naturally gifted at music or math or languages, the big differentiator between the beginners and the best is usually only a focused, deliberate, and consistent exercise of that ability motivated by a simple desire to keep getting better.

The basic premise we can infer from the science is that if you are willing to do what is required to keep getting better, you will actually get better. The key is that doing what is required to keep getter better is usually the hardest things to do.

Superior performers use their brains to intentionally focus on individual components of a skill to gain increasing control over their performance. In this way more of their performance comes from long-term storage instead of requiring the coding of new information.
-- paraphrased, Dr. K. Anders Ericsson

When you consider that becoming good at a skill requires deliberate, methodical control over each aspect of that skill, it is no wonder so many of us are novices. We would rather spend time on the parts we can actually accomplish or understand, instead of grinding out the rough spots that are the most difficult for us.

This lines up with everything I've ever been told by other musicians: Practice, practice, practice. It also reinforces my elementary school piano teacher, and my good friend when talking about the guitar. Just learn the scales. When you can play them smoothly, fast or slow, and transition between them without faltering, then you can worry about playing songs.

It's back to fingering scales for me.

The usual cast of characters seemed to take umbrage with my fast and loose referral from the last post.  So by way of reparations, I give you gapingvoid.

Yes, I agree I've been playing it sloppy.

And yes, I do believe this one makes up for it.

Surfing around this afternoon (yes it really was for work!) and I happened across one of the funniest, most creative sites I've seen in a while.  And you know I'm not big on pushing the drivel of others so you know this must be good.

It's Momo's Clubhouse and you can find it here.

I almost peed.

Yesterday we heard from our own news sources about a recent release from the US Justice Department about allowing fees for priority routing of internet traffic. Today, courtesy of the BBC, we see a simple restatement.

The US Justice Department has said that internet service providers should be allowed to charge for priority traffic.

The agency said it was opposed to "network neutrality", the idea that all data on the net is treated equally.
-- BBC News

Why can't our news ever spell anything out this simply?

What’s next? An Uber-Elite Network that’s much faster than the current one…oh wait, we already have I2…
Well how about a private network that you have to pay for higher bandwidth…oh wait, all the major carriers already do that…

Hmm…something is fishy about this, I just can’t quite put my finger on it.

As an avid fan of watching television on-demand and on-my-computer, I have more than usual opportunities to experience new programming. When you can watch anything at anytime at anyplace, the need for variety becomes much more ingrained in your viewing habits.

Recently I watched the first few episodes of a new series on Showtime called Californication.

As loathe as I am to admit it, I was enraptured from the onset. Fantastically creative and complex writing, just a hint of the pretension and pace I have come to savor like a guilty pleasure from shows like Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and Deadwood.

This particular mind-candy comes in the tangy tart form of David Duchovny and Evan Handler clamoring around the City of Angels climbing through chaos and clutching clichéd crutches.

The twists and turns taken as the plot thickens are unique and edgy but not outrageously so. It butts up against the unbelievable with a firm hold on a possible reality, enough to drag you in but not enough to shake you awake.

Have my tastes become so diverse that drivel delights me? Probably. But it's rich, well-written, and yummy so I'm going to have another taste.

Big projects are great.

Okay, I work in consulting so that seems a little obvious. But hear me out. Big projects aren't just excellent because they usually mean big money. They are also great because of all the intangible benefits and unaccounted for side-effects.

When people are working on big projects, the little inefficiencies and mistakes they are used to compensating for become exaggerated and glaringly obvious. Likewise, those who can really deliver get an opportunity to do so on scale that is unmistakable. Your performance or lack of it is much easier to identify when the magnifying glass that is a large project is applied to it.

Of course, it isn't just personal performance. The demands of your clients, the companies you work with, the policies you have in place for growing people. All these are put under the stress of longer durations, more bodies, and a much wider diversity of insanity.

The meta-lesson for me here is; if you, like me, have the tenacity to jump onto the back of a moving band-wagon then it seems polite to let the guys at the front do the driving.
-- David Ing (From 9 till 2)

One cool thing I really have come to really appreciate is how the gravity well of a big project showcases the motivations, self-sufficiencies, and sometimes even the loyalties of those you work with regularly.

Let's face it, steering a titanic is hard. Really frickin' hard. If it is for only a short time, or when the penalties are small, you can overlook lots of sniping, counter-productive, or selfish behavior. Start stretching the durations or increasing the costs of failure, and watch how the spotlight finds those who act counter to the culture or the company.

The service industry can be brutal.

Let's face it, if you are manufacturing or creating art or fixing cars or any one a myriad of things that are production related, you have a built in buffer between you and the customer. Sure, you might have to deal with critics or fickle consumers or market forces or whatever, but those affect the job you do, not necessarily how you DO your job.

If you are in a service field you have someone standing over your shoulder as you perform. The stream of second-guessing, backseat quarterbacking, and un-informed critique is delivered not after you have performed, but during. There is always a hand on top of yours, fighting for control of the mouse, the steering wheel, or the cash-register. Everyone has a better way, everyone thinks your performance could be better, even when they have no idea what your performance entails.

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I’ll be ok
Though my skies are turning gray
-- Your Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Today I'm struggling with the weight of criticism. Even the confident among us (a group in which most people would include me) feel the urge from time to time to be free of the henpecking and nitpicking.

I know I add value. I know I have worth. Usually my service gives me purpose. My purpose gives me strength. When my service is for fallible people, I forget and look for a fallible reward. Big mistake.

When I'm slipping and I've brought my eyes down, it is my friends that remind me to look up. Sometimes with their words, sometimes with their silence. It helps to have someone you trust pulling your strings.

Forgiveness is hard. Looking for forgiveness that will never come is excruciating.

There are things in my life I will never be forgiven for and offenses that no one on earth will ever free me from. Which is why I lean so heavily on my Heavenly Father for His forgiveness.

On earth, we hold things over each other for years on end. We carry grudges and we tend the fires of our hatred. Once divided, we rarely seek reconciliation. Our nature as humans to tear down and destroy stands in conflict with our desire for reparation and restoration. I know how hard I have struggled to forgive, but that doesn't stop me from hoping others have an easier time of it and forgive me!

"What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, 'Son, go and work today in the vineyard.' 'I will not,' he answered, but later he changed his mind and went. Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, 'I will, sir,' but he did not go. Which of the two did what his father wanted?"
"The first," they answered.
Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you."
-- Matthew 21:28-31

At first blush this isn't so much about our earthly forgiveness as about our ultimate judgment. He makes it clear that we are judged not by how we answer, but by how we actually respond with our actions. It is whether we show up when requested; the RSVP alone doesn't count.

This assurance of salvation is a huge deal for helping me move forward but doesn't really speak to how to apply this when dealing with people here on earth. How do we handle the disparity between what I want to do and what I actually do? How am I to respond to my own failures? How am I to respond when my failures aren't forgiven on earth?

If you read closely the first request you see an interesting qualifier on the request from the father in the story. He says go and work TODAY. Not go and work this week, or for a while. In this one word, He sets the expectation that the request is for the present and is limited. He lets us know that tomorrow will be a new day, with possibly a different request. Fulfilling this one request will only take a day. You don't have to swallow a lengthy commitment. You don't have to decide your whole future in the next 5 minutes. You don't have to get it right for years on end. Just actually do the one thing He is asking of you TODAY.

As I struggle with knowing that earthly forgiveness is out my reach, I am reminded that tomorrow is a new day. There will be a new invitation to work. Not just for me, but for each of us. It is okay to wait and see what tomorrow brings. My invitation will come and so will yours. Who will I be working side-by-side with tomorrow? Will it be you?